Grace Upon Grace | What 2014 Taught Me

Yesterday, I wrote about all of the things I want to accomplish in this new year. So today, I thought I would write about what I learned in 2014 (in more detail, of course.) 

2014 was a year of trials and overcoming and learning to be free. It was a year of mistakes and regrets and crying myself to sleep some nights. It was a year when I learned that depression is real and mental illnesses need to be taken seriously and the world is so very broken. 

It was a year of realizing that I'm going to change as I age and that it's okay. 

2014 taught me that all I need is to love better. Love boldly and fearlessly and with the love of Jesus. I need to love everyone that God puts in my life, no matter what they're going through. 

2014 taught me that everyone is a little bit broken and a little bit in need of a friend.

2014 taught me that once high school ends, you realize that some of your friends were only your friends because you saw them five days a week. 

2014 taught me that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. That's okay.

2014 taught me to never judge someone by their appearance. Looks can be deceiving. 

2014 taught me that college is really freaking awesome. 

2014 taught me that stepping out of my comfort zone is good. (Talking in front of my 400+ student class at orientation was a bit terrifying, but it was something that I learned from.)

2014 taught me that it's okay not to be okay some days.

2014 taught me that dancing your heart out at concerts is more fun than you could ever imagine. Who cares if people stare?

2014 taught me that taking chances can be a wonderful, wonderful thing.

2014 taught me that I'm not perfect, and I can't please everyone all the time. That's okay, too.

2014 taught me that no matter what, God will still love me and forgive me and let me run back into his arms. It taught me that my God is an awesome, loving, graceful God. And I'm so thankful.

2014 taught me that I'm learning to be free.

Blessings,

Shi.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." -1 Peter 5:10

All I Ever Needed Was Your Love

So, I just watched Grace Unplugged on Netflix and it tore me apart.

I've been wanting to see this movie since it came out, but never got the opportunity. So when I saw it on Netflix this morning (it's fall break--holla!) I knew I had to watch it. And I'm so glad that I did. I cried more times than I'd like to admit, and I don't think I can just mark it down to PMS. So.

The song that I posted above was the part where I really lost it. Just. Just. I don't know how to explain how it made me feel. Hopeful, maybe.

I know that I have been focusing a lot on things that don't really matter at all lately. I need to turn my focus back to God. He's all I need and sometimes I forget that. It's easy to forget that when you're surrounded by the world and people who want to fit into the world so bad, and I guess I sort of fell victim to that.

This movie was sort of a wake up call, I guess. All I need is Jesus. His love that never fails and never gives up, even when I screw up all the time. I'm thankful for that.

Lord, I'm sorry that I've been chasing after things the world has to offer; I know that I don't need that. I need you and your love and that is enough. Please forgive me for all of that. I'm sorry that I didn't realize it sooner. Thank you for wake up calls, and hope and forgiveness. You're all I need. Because Your love is better than life. Thank you for giving second, and third, and fourth, and infinite chances. I love you. Amen.

Beautiful Flaws

Throughout my life I've always been a people pleaser.

I will literally do anything and everything I can to keep people happy, even if it doesn't directly impact me. I just want to see people happy. And I want everyone to like me. 

But that's not possible. 

I'm human.

I make mistakes.

I can't make everyone happy.

I'm not perfect.

There's this quote I found on tumblr or something and it says "to be human is to be beautifully flawed" and it just really inspires me. 

We don't have to be perfect. We're just people. Other people shouldn't dictate our thoughts or feeling or anything else about ourselves. 

If we are truly living for Christ, the only one we should be trying to please is him. And the best part about that is that he is a forgiving and merciful God. We can mess up. He knows we will mess up, but he loves us anyway. 

He loves our flawed hearts and he forgives us when we screw things up. 

He forgives us when we're not perfect. (Because, let's face it, we're never perfect and we're never going to be perfect).

Galatians 1:10 says: 

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please me, I would not be a servant of Christ. 

We need to stop trying to win over other people. They're just people...as imperfect and flawed as we are. They don't have power over us.

Try to truly live for Christ. Live to please him; live to serve him; live to win his approval. He knows your heart and your motives and your mistakes. He loves you anyways. 

I think that's pretty amazing. As much as I mess up and as much as I sin against him, he still loves me. He still wants me. He still forgives me. 

And that's amazing grace. 

 

 

Dare to Believe | CRAVE

So, I'm not quite sure how I want to start this or where this is going to go, so I'm just going to write. It'll probably be very ramble-y and unclear, but that's okay. It's just how this goes sometimes.

The other day on facebook someone I'm friends with made a post. it said:

So these "Christian genocides" taking place are tragic, don't let me give you the wrong impression. BUT that being said its almost as if religion is still causing more problems than its worth. Just a thought.

I didn't say anything at first. I still haven't commented on it, but it has been bothering me a little bit since I first saw it. As you all know, I've been a Christian since birth. Born and raised to believe in the Lord. But The reason that I'm a Christian now isn't just because of my parents. Sure, I was raised with the the ideas of Christianity, but I've realized throughout my life how important a relationship with Christ is.

To be honest, if it wasn't for my faith in Jesus Christ I might not be sitting here writing this today. He has brought me through so much; times of doubt and self-destruction. He's my rock, my best friend, and the only one who will ever truly love me unconditionally.

Right after I read the post, I was listening to one of Colton Dixon's new songs called Dare to Believe. The chorus of the song says:

I will dare to believe You are the savior, living in me. And I know you always will be the God of the impossible, the God of every miracle. Before the world to see I will dare to believe. 

And this was what I wanted to comment on it. I'm going to dare to believe, because for me it's worth everything. He gave up his life so that I would be free from my sins. So that I could live and love fully. He's the God of everything, and I believe in it with my whole heart.

The thing is is that the world we live in is broken. Sin came in and took over; it's running ramp-id right now. There are bad things because of sin.

If You were just some carpenter from nowhere, an ordinary man with ordinary news, than we would not be here, still claiming You all these years. We believe the stories because their true. Some might call me crazy but I'm no fool. 

And I think that pretty much sums it up for me. It's more than stories, more than myths. It's truth. He's lived and died for me and he's still living. He will defeat the bad. The sin won't win. The terrible things that are going on in the world will not prevail. And because of that I have hope. Because I dare to believe.

I know that this wasn't the most thought out, orderly post, but it's been on my heart for a while so I needed to get it posted.

xoxo, Shi.