Grace Upon Grace | What 2014 Taught Me

Yesterday, I wrote about all of the things I want to accomplish in this new year. So today, I thought I would write about what I learned in 2014 (in more detail, of course.) 

2014 was a year of trials and overcoming and learning to be free. It was a year of mistakes and regrets and crying myself to sleep some nights. It was a year when I learned that depression is real and mental illnesses need to be taken seriously and the world is so very broken. 

It was a year of realizing that I'm going to change as I age and that it's okay. 

2014 taught me that all I need is to love better. Love boldly and fearlessly and with the love of Jesus. I need to love everyone that God puts in my life, no matter what they're going through. 

2014 taught me that everyone is a little bit broken and a little bit in need of a friend.

2014 taught me that once high school ends, you realize that some of your friends were only your friends because you saw them five days a week. 

2014 taught me that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. That's okay.

2014 taught me to never judge someone by their appearance. Looks can be deceiving. 

2014 taught me that college is really freaking awesome. 

2014 taught me that stepping out of my comfort zone is good. (Talking in front of my 400+ student class at orientation was a bit terrifying, but it was something that I learned from.)

2014 taught me that it's okay not to be okay some days.

2014 taught me that dancing your heart out at concerts is more fun than you could ever imagine. Who cares if people stare?

2014 taught me that taking chances can be a wonderful, wonderful thing.

2014 taught me that I'm not perfect, and I can't please everyone all the time. That's okay, too.

2014 taught me that no matter what, God will still love me and forgive me and let me run back into his arms. It taught me that my God is an awesome, loving, graceful God. And I'm so thankful.

2014 taught me that I'm learning to be free.

Blessings,

Shi.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." -1 Peter 5:10

Beautiful Flaws

Throughout my life I've always been a people pleaser.

I will literally do anything and everything I can to keep people happy, even if it doesn't directly impact me. I just want to see people happy. And I want everyone to like me. 

But that's not possible. 

I'm human.

I make mistakes.

I can't make everyone happy.

I'm not perfect.

There's this quote I found on tumblr or something and it says "to be human is to be beautifully flawed" and it just really inspires me. 

We don't have to be perfect. We're just people. Other people shouldn't dictate our thoughts or feeling or anything else about ourselves. 

If we are truly living for Christ, the only one we should be trying to please is him. And the best part about that is that he is a forgiving and merciful God. We can mess up. He knows we will mess up, but he loves us anyway. 

He loves our flawed hearts and he forgives us when we screw things up. 

He forgives us when we're not perfect. (Because, let's face it, we're never perfect and we're never going to be perfect).

Galatians 1:10 says: 

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please me, I would not be a servant of Christ. 

We need to stop trying to win over other people. They're just people...as imperfect and flawed as we are. They don't have power over us.

Try to truly live for Christ. Live to please him; live to serve him; live to win his approval. He knows your heart and your motives and your mistakes. He loves you anyways. 

I think that's pretty amazing. As much as I mess up and as much as I sin against him, he still loves me. He still wants me. He still forgives me. 

And that's amazing grace. 

 

 

Dare to Believe | CRAVE

So, I'm not quite sure how I want to start this or where this is going to go, so I'm just going to write. It'll probably be very ramble-y and unclear, but that's okay. It's just how this goes sometimes.

The other day on facebook someone I'm friends with made a post. it said:

So these "Christian genocides" taking place are tragic, don't let me give you the wrong impression. BUT that being said its almost as if religion is still causing more problems than its worth. Just a thought.

I didn't say anything at first. I still haven't commented on it, but it has been bothering me a little bit since I first saw it. As you all know, I've been a Christian since birth. Born and raised to believe in the Lord. But The reason that I'm a Christian now isn't just because of my parents. Sure, I was raised with the the ideas of Christianity, but I've realized throughout my life how important a relationship with Christ is.

To be honest, if it wasn't for my faith in Jesus Christ I might not be sitting here writing this today. He has brought me through so much; times of doubt and self-destruction. He's my rock, my best friend, and the only one who will ever truly love me unconditionally.

Right after I read the post, I was listening to one of Colton Dixon's new songs called Dare to Believe. The chorus of the song says:

I will dare to believe You are the savior, living in me. And I know you always will be the God of the impossible, the God of every miracle. Before the world to see I will dare to believe. 

And this was what I wanted to comment on it. I'm going to dare to believe, because for me it's worth everything. He gave up his life so that I would be free from my sins. So that I could live and love fully. He's the God of everything, and I believe in it with my whole heart.

The thing is is that the world we live in is broken. Sin came in and took over; it's running ramp-id right now. There are bad things because of sin.

If You were just some carpenter from nowhere, an ordinary man with ordinary news, than we would not be here, still claiming You all these years. We believe the stories because their true. Some might call me crazy but I'm no fool. 

And I think that pretty much sums it up for me. It's more than stories, more than myths. It's truth. He's lived and died for me and he's still living. He will defeat the bad. The sin won't win. The terrible things that are going on in the world will not prevail. And because of that I have hope. Because I dare to believe.

I know that this wasn't the most thought out, orderly post, but it's been on my heart for a while so I needed to get it posted.

xoxo, Shi.

| In Oceans Deep

One thing that you all must know about me is that I love Jesus. So, therefore, I will post about him quite regularly. If you don't like posts about him then I suggest you just click the little 'x' right now. 

Today, I wanted to share this song with you all and kind of talk about what it means to me. It's called 'Oceans (Where My Feet May Wander)' and it's by a worship group called Hillsong. The line of the song that originally drew me in was the one that said "take me deeper than my feet could ever wander," but the more I listen to the song, the more I get from it. 

Tonight, I was really focusing on a line from the first verse of the song that says: "In oceans deep my faith will stand." And to be completely honest with you all: I'm still trying to figure out what it means to me. (That's probably what this post will turn into--me figuring it out). I know that we need to get out into the ocean; the unknown, if you will. That's where God uses us, that's where he teaches us. I know that once we're out there in the deep waters that's where we grow. We lose fear. We learn to love. 

I want to be out in the oceans. In the deep. I want to be taken to a place that is deeper than my feet could ever wander. I want to be some place where my faith can stand. Because, I'll be real with you all for a moment, I've been struggling lately. It's getting harder and harder for me to just make the time for the Lord that I need to. I know I need to change this, and believe me, I want to. I want to be so on fire that when I walk into a room everyone can see him through me. And maybe the deeper I get out into that ocean, the more my faith will stand. The more I'll be relying on the Lord instead of myself. 

I think that I'm just an eighteen year old girl who is trying to wrap her head around things. Like, I know that I believe in God. I know that with my whole heart, I just don't really understand the world yet. I want to love people with such an unconditional love, and show people how much Christ loves them, but it's so hard to do with judgement and temptation around everywhere. I need to work on myself. I need God to work on me. 

My prayer for tonight is that I will be taken out into the oceans deep. That I will be thrown in head first, so much so that I won't be able to rely on myself, and that I'll have to give it up to God. I want him to use me. I want my faith to stand strong, in the oceans deep. I need to be in that ocean. The ocean of God and his love and his mercy and his grace. I need Jesus. I need him to pull me close and teach me. Show me how to view the world. So my prayer is that I will be taken to oceans deep. 

The Crave Movement: Fearless

I'm going to be straight up, completely honest with you for a minute. Okay? Okay.

I am not a perfect Christian.

I am impatient, and lazy, and selfish, and hypocritical, and judgmental, and broken.

But I can tell you something else, too.

My God is patient, and loving, and forgiving, and graceful, and a healer, and the perfecter of all things--including us; broken and sinful humans.

That's why I am thankful. He doesn't look at the past mistakes that we have made. He helps us learn and grow and he teaches us to be better people. He wants us to crave him and to share him and his love with the broken world that we live in.

And I am thankful for that.

I am thankful for the opportunity to go out there and to share Jesus with the world. It's an amazing chance. I love that I get to go and love people. I love that I am able to grow in this faith and to build a relationship with Christ that is unfailing. I love that this world hates me and that I get this chance.

It's okay to feel inferior and afraid; God gets to work on us more that way. He gets to help us learn to be fearless. 1 John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." This is one of my favorite verses of all time. I love that he wants us to be fearless. I love that his love makes us fearless. We don't have to be afraid to go out there and love the broken because Christ loves us, in all of our brokenness.

I just think that's pretty cool

The Crave Movement: We Can't Settle

It starts in middle school. The feelings of loneliness and vulnerability. It carries over into high school. You get your first everything; heartbreak, friends leaving, loss. I guess you could say that it sucks. Big time.

There's something that you might not know, though: It happens to everyone. Everyone feels broken, lonely, hurt, and frustrated. Our hormones are running ramped and the stress feels unbearable. We get pressured to be like everyone else and we often give in. We want to fit in, because we are afraid to stand out.

I have felt this too. We all have. Because the worst feeling in the world is sitting in a cafeteria full of people, and eating alone. Silent. Alone. Scared. The thing is, though--and this took me a long time to learn--is that we can't settle. We can't settle into the standards that this world has laid out for us to settle into. We can't go with the crowd because we aren't called to be apart of the crowd. The truth is that if this world hates you, you're doing something right. John 15:19 says "if you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."

The best part about this is that we get to spend an eternity with someone who loves us enough to die for us. We aren't of this world, we are of the body of Christ. We get to have a best friend at all times. Jesus. When you're feeling lonely, or broken, or scared, or whatever it is is, he is there for you.

He died for us; for our sins and our insecurities and our doubts. He died for all of that simply because he loves us. He loves who we are because he made us that way. He made us and all of our quirks that the world loves to hate.

I want you to know that you're never alone. There are so many people who are going through the same things that you are. I want you to know that on the loneliest, most frustrating days, you can talk to someone--Jesus. He will always be there to be your friend. And that is why we can't settle. We can't settle for something that isn't the best, and you'll never find a truer love, or a truer friend, than in Jesus.

The CRAVE Movement

So, here I am with another series for this blog. 

Introducing: THE CRAVE MOVEMENT.  

Now, I'm sure some of you are wondering what is crave?

Crave stands for: chasing revelation and victory everyday. 

It's what I want my life to represent. I want to be on fire for the Lord. I want to crave him. So this little series is going to be some thoughts that I have on everything about this as I continue to grow and grow in my faith. It is very important for me to show my generation how important it is to crave a relationship with our heavenly father. I want people to know that they're never too far gone and that there is always room for redemption. 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--thin about such things. (Philippians 4:8)